Fearlessly Feral Living!
Fearlessly Feral Living!
Crafting a Life of Humor and Spirituality
Amidst the stillness of the Nevada night, a moment of restless creativity sparked a new perspective on personal transformation. As I, Reverend Karen, hemmed my pants to the tunes of Jon Batiste and Earth, Wind & Fire, I discovered a profound rhythm between intention and change. This episode unravels the metaphor of Advent as a gateway to fresh adventures in the New Year, encouraging a shift from traditional resolutions to more impactful intentions. Join me in exploring how the true meaning of repentance—simply changing our thinking—can lead to life-altering transformations through self-awareness and intuition.
Life as an interim minister at the Bakersfield Center for Spiritual Living is anything but predictable. From hosting lively "Dinner with a Minister" events to navigating unexpected challenges like last-minute staff replacements, humor and adaptability are my trusted companions. Despite the sleepless nights, the pandemic's demands for safety measures, and the juggling of multiple roles, the fulfillment I find in this work is immeasurable. With Walter, my loyal feline sidekick, by my side, I weave humor and connection into the fabric of spiritual leadership and community service, crafting a life that is as flexible as it is rewarding.
A creative burst in the wee hours led me to ponder the philosophy of "gentle discipline," a harmonious balance between productivity and self-care. This is a theme I plan to expand upon in my upcoming book. Gratitude fills my heart as I express appreciation for the podcast audience that supports Fearlessly Feral Living. As we embrace a new year, the potential for adventures beckons, inviting us to explore new ways of thinking and being. With an open heart, I extend an invitation to join this journey of intentional living, underscored by the community’s invaluable support and contributions.
Well, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody, to another episode of the Fearlessly Feral Living Podcast. This is Reverend Karen coming to you on New Year's Eve 2024. And this podcast is going to be a little different because, well, first of all, I created it in the middle of the night a week ago, on Christmas Eve, and there was just a lot of stuff on my mind and I just felt the need to share it with you. Hopefully you'll get some value out of it. I'm kind of pleased with the humor that's in here, but I hope there's also some profound moments with it too. I'm going to be talking about, of course, new Year's, a little bit about Advent, some goals and intentions and, yeah, even sleepless nights. So let's see where we go with this. But first I want to give you the world-famous introduction to Fearlessly Feral Living. Welcome again to Fearlessly Feral Living. This is Reverend Karen Lindsley broadcasting to you from the Woogie Ranch out here in the back 40 of northwestern Nevada, where I'm a half an hour away from the nearest gas station and the nearest grocery store. And our mission is to provide a strong and unshakable inner foundation that works for long-term, successful living. Our purpose is to activate inner self-awareness, and our vision is a world in which everyone lives wild and free, which of course you know is another way to express Fearlessly Feral. So here we go with Advent and New Year's and goals and intentions and sleepless nights and yes, there's a lot to unpack in that title. As I write this and again I created this in the middle of the night it was 4.40 am in the morning on Christmas Eve 2024. And I've been up since about 2.30. Whoops, things are falling off my desk. I've been up since about 2.30 that night, my desk. I've been up since about 2.30 that night and I had an epiphany that night, of sorts, and that epiphany had to do with aging I turned 70 a month ago and how I live my life in grief and depression and coming out of that. And yeah, it's kind of like the title there was a lot going on inside of my head. Are you at all surprised that I couldn't sleep? So I want to unpack that title a little bit. I really wanted to do a podcast just on Advent and I have pages and pages and pages of notes and research and you know what. Nothing felt right. It didn't float my boat, it just wasn't working.
Speaker 1:Basically, what I have to say about Advent can all be summed up in one sentence Advent means new adventures. That's it, new adventures. And so my invitation to you is to consider, with the advent see what I did there of 2025, this new adventure that is coming, that is approaching us, to create some new adventures for yourself, to maybe do something you've never done before, maybe consider a way of being that you've never been before, maybe even try and change your thinking a little bit and think in new ways. Just go on a new adventure, try something new, be something new, see how that works for you. And while I'm on Advent in original meetings and suggesting new ways to think about old traditions, I want to talk about the word repent, because this has always fascinated me. You know how they have the guys on the corners repent, repent. Well, did you know that? Repent means nothing more than change your thinking? That's it, that's all. Repent means. So advent means new adventures. Repent means change your thinking. Change your thinking to create some new adventures in your life in 2025. That's the deal Change your thinking, repent to enter Advent and create some new adventures in your life. I think that's pretty profound myself. Anyway, we can go into all the religious stuff, but that's what it means. That could be your New Year's intention Change your thinking and go on new adventures. It could be an intention.
Speaker 1:Now notice, I skipped right over resolutions. I skipped right over goals. That's because I don't do them. I stopped doing resolutions a long time ago because really they don't work. Resolutions I've never heard success stories with resolutions. I have, however, heard many and experienced much success on my own with intentions. Experience much success on my own with intentions, goals Well, sometimes I'll do goals, but you know, I work with others sometimes, and I'm working with this one lady in general, in particular rather, and she's a very goal-oriented kind of person.
Speaker 1:I love this woman. I love her to pieces. She knows how I feel about goals, but she's got goals dialed into the Nats ass, you guys. She nails down with timelines and deadlines and strategic plans and whiteboards and mind maps, and I look at all that and I go. I just got to go take a nap now. That's how she does things. And so we've managed to get together and create something, because I run on gut level feelings, I run on intuition, what some folks call airy fairy, woo, woo stuff, and I just heard something this morning, a week after I created the outline for this podcast, but I have to insert it here because I'm going to research it.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I haven't had time to research it because I've just heard it this morning, but I was having a conversation with one of my prayer partners this morning. If you don't have a prayer partner, get one. If you don't know how to get one, contact me, I'll walk you through the process. Anyway, we're having a conversation and she's talking about something and she just kind of throws out there in this sort of offhand way. She says well, you know that Ernest Holmes said that instinct plus self-awareness plus choice equals intuition. And then she went on to continue and I had to interrupt her like wait, wait, wait, what did you say? What she said instinct plus self-awareness plus choice equals intuition. And I went oh my God, where did you get that? And she's like well, I'm not sure where I got it, but you could check the glossary in the textbook. And I'm like, okay, okay, that's a starting point.
Speaker 1:Sometimes researching this stuff is a bit like being a detective. You know you have to start somewhere and you start there and you get a clue, and then you go where the clue leads you and then you get another clue and you go where that clue leads you. This thing, this instinct plus self-awareness plus choice equals intuition, because I had someone ask me this question just yesterday. He said how do you know the difference between your intuition and whether it's just another voice in your head? And we had a nice chat about that and I'll be including that in the podcast, by the way, but not now, because I've got all this other stuff that was rolling around that I need to talk about. I just wanted be including that in the podcast, by the way, but not now, because I've got all this other stuff that was rolling around that I need to talk about. I just wanted to insert that in there because I just thought it was so cool.
Speaker 1:Instinct plus self-awareness plus choice equals intuition. So we got advent, new adventures, we've got change your thinking, and now we have instinct plus self awareness plus choice equals intuition, and now we have goals versus intentions. So, my friend, she's got her goals, she's got her mind maps, she's got her whiteboard, she's got her strategic plan, she's got all the goal oriented stuff and I got my woo-woo, airy-fairy stuff, and somehow we meet in that middle ground, the room he talks about. You know that field out beyond the ideas of right and wrong. There's a field. I will meet you there. We meet in that field and we come up with the coolest stuff we are. We got projects galore. We are working on so much stuff and it is really incredible. Every phone conversation I have and she lives clear across the country, by the way. So if you think you've got to do stuff in person, maybe a new adventure to consider you might start doing stuff online, just just throwing that out. There we come up with this beautiful stuff and it's absolutely incredible beautiful, awesome and profound. So she's over there drawing on her whiteboard and creating her mind maps and I'm over here running my attention app in the background.
Speaker 1:Honestly, goals with their timelines and their deadlines. Sometimes that gets to feeling a bit abusive to me, because what if you don't reach the goal? Then you're beating yourself up and I'm sorry, but I have no room for beating oneself up. I have no room for guilt. I have no room for any of that. It all just feels a bit abusive to me. Plus, here's another aspect which is pretty applicable to me personally, but it might be applicable to you too.
Speaker 1:I've been sober for 38 years, but I am still an addict. I still have the addictive personality, which means that my default setting is quite frequently setting is quite frequently, even though I work on it all or nothing coupled with obsession. So let's say I decide to go on a diet, I set a new year's resolution, I'm going to lose 20 pounds or whatever I decide, I'm going to go on a diet. I obsess on this diet to such a degree that I end up gaining weight. It's worked like that for me every time.
Speaker 1:I just read a little ditty by Patty Dye on Facebook this morning. She said if you're going to go on it, if you're thinking of setting a resolution to go on a diet for New Year's, I have one word for you Don't. Every time I set a resolution to go on a diet, my little inner voice says and how much weight do you plan to gain this time? Don't do resolutions, don't do diets. Just here's what I'm doing Eat less, move more. That's it, real simple. Eat less, move more real simple. Eat less, move more. It's become my mantra eat less, move more. So every time I'm eating, all of a sudden in my mind it's saying eat less, eat less. And every time I just want to sit around and be lazy. In my mind it's saying move a bit more. And I so I do. I do that one meal at a time. One meal at a time. I eat a little less. One urge to sit around and be lazy at a time. I get up and walk around, eat less, move more. That's all it takes. Try it. Okay, where was I?
Speaker 1:When you create a podcast episode in the middle of the night, you've got to expect a certain amount of rambling. Right, I'm just going to go with it. I'm just going to go with it. You know, my favorite podcaster is Bell and I can't remember his first name. Oh my God, I'm having a senior moment. I can't remember Rob Bell. His name is Rob Bell. He's my favorite podcaster. You know he comes online and he comes on a podcast and he just starts talking. He has no introduction, he has no music. In fact, much of my podcast is patterned after his. He just starts talking and he comes out with this incredible stuff, and sometimes it's rambling, and I really enjoy that. So I hope you're enjoying this too.
Speaker 1:Part of running on gut level, feelings and intuition means I go with the flow much of the time and it always turns out really well, and that being able to do airy-fairy woo-woo stuff, you know what, guys? That's part of the miracle. That is me, and I want to suggest to you that, whatever it is, whatever is your way of doing things, whatever is your way of showing up in the world guess what? That's part of the miracle. That is you as well. Think about that. Think about that. Think about that. So, if you run on airy fairy, woo-woo and things aren't working so well, maybe try setting some goals and charting them with a mind map and some timelines, a couple of deadlines, and if you're the kind of detail-oriented, analytical person that does those things, try going in a fairy woo-woo for a while and see how that works. Better yet, consider how you show up in the world. Find someone who shows up in exactly the opposite way and get together and do some brainstorming and see what the two of you can come up with. That's how you do a new adventure in life. That's how you do a new adventure in life. That's how you do a new adventure in life. That could be your New Year's intention. Find someone who does things exactly the opposite of what you do and create a new adventure.
Speaker 1:I'm just throwing stuff out there guys seeing what sticks. Oh, and I'm cracking up here. So right now I'm serving a community in Bakersfield Center for Spiritual Living Bakersfield as their interim minister, and when I come to serve in community I do this thing called Dinner with a Minister. It's both a tiny little fundraiser as well as the congregation's opportunity to meet and interact with the minister in a very casual setting. And every time I have the opportunity, which is I show up to a center and they have a kitchen there, I do dinner with a minister.
Speaker 1:So I'm in the kitchen cooking my world famous spaghetti sauce. We're making some other stuff. I've got a lot of helpers running around and one of the ladies comes up to me and she says I'll cook the pasta for you. I said great. So she starts cooking the pasta and I walk up to her and I said do you know how to tell when the pasta is done? And she said no, how do you tell when the pasta is done? And I said you fish one of the pieces out and you throw it against the wall and if it sticks, it's done. And she this out and you throw it against the wall and if it sticks, it's done. And she looked at me and she said you're pulling a funny on me, aren't you? I said yeah, and we both laughed and she went on her merry way. But you know what? That was part of the deal. She got to know that I have this sense of playfulness with me and I never met this woman before and she's one of our most valued members in Center for Spiritual Living Bakersfield and she got to participate in this dinner with a minister thing. So, yeah, just throw stuff out there and see what sticks. You can have some fun with that.
Speaker 1:So I've talked about Advent, repent and goals and resolutions and intentions, and now we're up to sleepless nights. So obviously I wasn't sleeping that night because it was a bit busy in my head and you know it gets like that sometimes. Right, I've got stuff I want to do. I'm sure you do too. I have stuff I need to do. I'm sure you do too. I have stuff I need to do. I'm sure you do too. I need to do my job. I need to serve that community in Bakersfield. I need to show up, and you know that job. Even though it says I'm part time, I'm really pretty much full time Because it entails everything from counseling to writing, to giving talks, to teaching, to administrative tax, to updating the website, to demonstrating the consciousness of abundance and growth to a congregation that is resisting change. Yeah, I have a job that's a biggie right there, and so I do this job, and there's a lot of stuff and not only that, but there's just a lot of stuff in my life in general. You know, like, what's my next podcast going to be about for Fearlessly Feral Living? What am I going to put in the Fearlessly Feral Living newsletter this month? What am I going to post on Facebook this month that can inspire people and give them some comfort? Maybe this month that can inspire people and give them some comfort. Maybe I'm really lucky because in Bakersfield, I'm working with an awesome, awesome group of people and so many of them are showing up to serve in their spiritual home, in their spiritual community, and I have a perfect example for you of some of the work that goes into being a minister.
Speaker 1:I call this particular aspect of ministry babysitting, and I mean that in a totally good way, and I need to get some water here. Okay, one Sunday a few weeks ago, I had three people who were directly involved in helping to produce the sunday service go out sick three people. One sunday I had the person in charge of the congregational music go out with covid. By the way, covid is on the rise again.
Speaker 1:Mask up, sanitize your hands. I really don't give a shit if you feel like it doesn't work. Your opinion does not matter in this instance. What matters is that you have enough respect and honor and dignity for the people around you that you be safe for their sake, not for yours. Just wear the mask. It's not going to restrict your freedom somehow.
Speaker 1:I like hear people like that's restricting my freedom. Oh my God, nonsense, bullshit, really. Come on, guys. So to tell you your hands it doesn't work. Well, I'm sorry, but it does. So I don't care if you disagree with it. What I care about is that you do it. Do your part to stem the tide of an increase in covid this winter, when everybody's migrating indoors. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now, I'm sorry. Use the mask, use the hand sanitizer, socially, distance and if you're sick, stay home. And again, it's not going to hurt, okay.
Speaker 1:So congregational music lady out with COVID, she stays home. Good girl, I get a backup singer. She goes out with pneumonia. Okay, she stays home. I get another backup singer, so I got that one taken care of. Then the lady who's in charge of actually hosting the service the one who makes all the announcements and gets up there and introduces people she goes out sick, so I get a substitute for her. And this is all done long distance, because it's not my weekend to be there physically in person, so that's what I call babysitting. So, yeah, there's stuff going on. I've got a job, I've got things I have to do, things I want to do. Fortunately, there's a lot of flexibility in my timing, which means that when I don't sleep well, most days I can take a nap.
Speaker 1:Plus, when I was in rehab many, many, many years ago 38 years ago, to be exact, a little more now my nurse told me because I was complaining highly, I couldn't sleep, it was too cold, I was uncomfortable, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I was just complaining because I was detoxing and I wasn't happy and I wasn't comfortable. And she looked at me and she said, honey, nobody ever died from lack of sleep. And I'm like, oh, all righty. Then she was right I've never died from lack of sleep. I'm still here, I'm still kicking, I'm still on here rambling in a podcast for you guys. Nobody ever died from lack of sleep. Get some when you can, don't sweat it. If you can't sleep, use the time to be productive.
Speaker 1:So that's what I did that night. I got up, I went with the. I just got up. You know, in the past, when I've had a sleepless night, I've just gone with the flow and I've just read a book until I fell asleep again.
Speaker 1:But that night something was different. I woke up at 2.30. And I already told you I created the outline for this podcast at 4.30, so that gives you an idea of how much sleep was eluding me that night. I actually had gone to bed around 9 o'clock and fell asleep right away and slept straight through until 2.30, and then, when I was awake, I was awake and I started reading and a new thought occurred to me. A new thought, a new adventure, a repent, an advent. This new thought said Karen, you know you've got some stuff you want to do. Why not use this time to do it? And I said, wow, what a novel idea. And so I did something. I did something and, yes, I do talk with the committee members in my head.
Speaker 1:We have conversations all the time, so I've had this pair of pants that I've really wanted to wear when I was in Bakersfield, but I haven't worn them yet because they're eight inches too long. When you're only five feet tall, that happens. I have to hem. Every pair of pants I buy. Damn near. These pants are of a material that is so nice and so soft and so comfy, but really really hard to work with, and I've been procrastinating on hemming them. So I finally got a friend to pin the pants up for me, because I live alone. And I went to visit this friend a while back and I said, if I bring my straight pins in my pants, will you pin them for me? And she's like, yeah, sure. So she pinned up the pants for me and still they were just sitting there.
Speaker 1:So I get up and I decide I'm going to hem these pants. While I can't sleep, and while I hem the pants I'm going to listen to some podcasting and some music and I realize I need my ironing board. So I go to get the ironing board because I'm going to use that to to hem my pants with so I can keep them straight, and I get in the closet to pull the ironing board out and I look around and I realize stuff has been partying in that closet and creating more stuff. It's been breeding in there and creating more stuff. It's been breeding in there and creating more stuff. I don't know how that happens, it just happens. And so I thought to myself well, I got to clean this closet out, but I'm not going to do it tonight because I'm on a mission. I'm going to hem the pants.
Speaker 1:Then I realized I had left my sewing kit in the car because on one of my trips to Bakersfield I thought maybe I'll have time to hem my pants. Yeah right, no, not ever going to happen on a trip to Bakersfield. I don't have that kind of spare time when I'm there. I go nonstop from the time I get there until the time I leave. I'm usually pretty tired when I get home from one of those trips A good tired but, and I enjoy the work. But yeah, yeah, there's no spare time while I'm there. So I have to put on my shoes and go out to the car and retrieve my sewing kit. I'm like, okay, no big deal. So I do all that. I got the ironing board set up, I got the sewing kit, I've got my needle, I've got my thread, I start hemm in these pants and I decide I'm gonna listen to some new music and maybe listen to a couple podcasts. So I had found, I found a new pianist.
Speaker 1:Now music is pretty important in my life. I love music. Music gets me going, it creates energy for me, it allows me to do what is mine to do, which is create podcasts for you and and create talks and do all the other stuff I do as a minister. Anyway, I was listening in the radio in my truck, which is the only source of sound. It doesn't have all the fancy new bells and whistles because it's an older truck and they were talking on national public radio about this musician. They did an interview with this musician called john batiste. Now apparently he's been a while out. For a while I haven't heard any of his work, but he has a new album out called beethoven blues.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I'm a closet classical fan. What can I say? I love classical music. It's just the, the pageantry and the ins and outs and the ups and downs and the, the, the, the sheer skill it takes to play classical music. It just does my heart good to hear it. So he's a pianist and he has this new album out called Beethoven Blues and so I decided I was going to listen to the album. And I start listening to the samples and I fell in love and I ended up buying four of the songs on the album. So on my playlist now, I have classical. That's not the only classical I have, but I have classical. I have good old-fashioned big band jazz, I have newer jazz, I have smooth jazz, I have jazz fusion, I have disco, I have rhythm and blues, I have bartha Franklin, I have Gladys Knight, I have the Isley Brothers, I've got Tower of Power, earth, wind and Fire. This is my playlist and yeah, it's a bit eclectic. Like me, it's an adventure to listen to this playlist. So I had a delightful time listening to this new music and hemming. And then my playlist gets to some vocals. So now I'm singing and hemming.
Speaker 1:I have this cat. He's been with me for about a year. He was billed as a semi-feral barn cat. None of that is true. Walter is very much a human being's cat and he's very much my cat. He doesn't like anybody else but me. Every time I have a visitor come over, he gets up on top of the cupboard and stays there until they leave because he doesn't want to interact with anybody but me. But boy, does he interact with me? He loves for me to talk to him. He loves for me to talk to him. He loves for me to read to him. Turns out he also loves for me to sing to him. So I'm singing in him and he's sitting there on the floor watching me, looking at me with this cat adoration and if you've never been on the receiving end of that, it's pretty cool to see that and experience that. And he and every once in a while he'll be out back at me when I'm singing. You're like meow, oh meow.
Speaker 1:So from now on, when I have a sleepless night, I'm gonna get shit done. Guys, I'm gonna just get up and get her done, because stuff has been breathing in my closets at night. There's other stuff that hasn't been getting done and, honestly, part of my self-care routine is to have a I call it gentle discipline and it's in my new upcoming book, which will be out one of these days, sometime in 2025. Okay, let's put it like that. Gentle discipline that means I got to have enough discipline to get things done, but not so much that I punish myself if I don't get the things done. There's that balance in there, that balance. So the self-care means if I'm up at night and I can't sleep, I'm going to get up and do stuff. I'm going to take care of the things that are on my to-do list Not that I actually have a physical list, it's just in my brain but I know what needs doing. I know what needs doing. So there you have it. There you have it 26 minutes and 40 seconds of rambling.
Speaker 1:I hope you enjoyed this podcast. 40 seconds of rambling. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I hope you've been able to take away something that serves you and inspires you, and I want to inform you that Fearlessly Feral Living. It is a ministry, it's called a focus ministry, with Centers for Spiritual Living, and all of your support is very much appreciated. I can't tell you how good it feels to me when I log into my statistics on my podcasting host website and see how many people have listened to me and where they've come from.
Speaker 1:But if my podcast has at all inspired you, if it has helped you, I hope you will consider donating. It's tax deductible and you know, if you need a last minute tax deduction, I'm your girl. I hope you will consider donating. There's lots of expenses involved with this. Yeah, I've got to pay for the hosting, I have to pay for the website, I have to pay for all the other stuff and right now I'm supporting it all on my own.
Speaker 1:So your support would help greatly and also be very much appreciated. And you can support the podcast if you listen via my hosting, which is called Buzzsprout, and the link is in the show notes. There's a link there that says support the podcast and you can just click that and you can enter an amount that comes out of your account monthly and it can be as small as $5 a month or more. You can also do a one-time donation on our PayPal page and you can check everything out and get all of these links on my website at fearlesslyferalorg. And until then, until the next time that I get to speak with and for you on another podcast, I am knowing fearlessly feral living for me and for you and I thank you very much.